I want to live this life having many experiences and truly living life to the fullest, & you know of the things that I want to do but what if you figured out a way to do those things just in a different order and add another adventure to what your doing? You see, my sister Desiree is going to be doing ILP (International Language Program) and She's going to to China with it. I heard yesterday from her that this same program is now going to have that program in Thailand starting this fall, and it just because of the location being told to me, so much made sense in my mind for a second and all these ideas switched around in my mind like an actor running off stage and changing total costumes in a matter of seconds, I thought my mind wouldnt be able to retain it all. But what I realized is I could do this, and push back basic training till January because I realized, see, that I didnt have too many plans for after basic and tech school cause when I would have gotten out is January and then I wasn't leaving to California until fall 2012 for college and acting, and so I have a Spring and Summer, so why not just do Basic then and travel a little before and do service? I think it would add to the many experiences I hope to have in this life and make a difference in the world, big or small, it's still something, right?
At first my mom said that only 18 yr olds could go, at least she said she thought that, so I decided, if this doesnt work out, then it isn't meant to, but I will do what I can to make it happen if I am able, so my mom called the program and found that if your parents sign for you saying you can and your graduated from high school (Which I will be, in less then two months might I add!) so, so far so good, except the fact that now my family and I have to find funding and donations for this for two kids instead of one. I told her that if that ends up not working, we could contact a family in another country I'd like to visit with my same religion and go live abroad for a little while just for new experiences and to travel, which I would be totally fine with, but through the ILP I can go to the other places and be teacvhing english and helping children in other countries, so I'd love to do that as well. It's all an idea right now but I'm really liking this one. I am not changing my plans, just adding more to them. Because I am not one of those people that change their mind all the time, I just find new and different ways to do things and different orders of doing them, but I am doing them nonetheless.
What do you think I should do? Because how I see it is its another way to travel a little and learn new cultures before I get settled in California and the Air National Guard because I feel I wont travel as much once I'm there, for a while at least, because I am traveling in this life no matter what, just like my mom did. So any advice or comments? I know it has been a while but I am going to be writing more so don't worry about me not writing again for a while again. Whoever is out there reading this, thank you for making the time too, it does mean a lot :)
Friday, April 22, 2011
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Something that always strongly affects me.
DefianceWatched this movie tonight. Had always wanted too.
It got to me; pretty badly. Really beautiful.It seems like people not too long ago were so much stronger than we are now, in more ways than one. I dream to be that strong one day.I can’t wait to be able to act in period films such as this, and fully participate in sending out a message about history through my form of art. I realized that even more while watching this too…I recommend it to anyone, I can’t explain it, you just have to watch it and interpret for yourself.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
A major inspiration to me, I can hardly explain, but I'll try :)
Jerry Lewis.
The Nutty Professor is the first film I saw him in, either that or Rock a By Baby which is my favorite, (if I had to pick one) and I know I was really young when I did, and I had never seen anything like it. Some people would say that about some spectacle of a movie, and of course this movie wasn't that, but I am saying it in the sense that Jerry just took what he had and went with it. He created his characters on so many layers and stuck to it, and made it so convincing and still more than managed to give you all he had in a performance (which was a lot).
As an actress (well, one in progress, an aspiring one) I always have wanted to stick to dramatic acting and dramatic roles, which people think is interesting of me because I am that girl that always is being crazy and basically a "class clown" for lack of a better term. But it has been awhile I'll admit, that I have watched one of his films, even though I never forgot how he mad me feel the years I didn't watch his films, I watched one two nights back, and it was just an amazing feeling seeing pure true comedy, and a pure & true person doing it. Ahh I feel like I am doing a terrible job explaining this, which I hate because I wish I could express how seriously I am effected by this man (in a good way) and how everything he does makes me so happy there was someone in show business like him. He never gets old to me, he's the definition of a classic; he's timeless.
If I am ever asked "Who would you just be a total wreck meeting?" I wouldn't have to give it thought. Of course I have many, many other influences and inspirations but nothing like Jerry Lewis. What I find such a blessing and something I am thrilled about is knowing he is still in this world with us. Think of all the amazing people that have left this earth, but he is still here, and one of the few of Hollywoods golden out there. To sound a little silly, but to be honest, on the top of my bucket list it says 'Meet Jerry Lewis" and of course, if I don't meet him in this life it's okay, just knowing someone was here on Earth like him is all that matters.
He has inspired me more than just acting too, and most I have trouble putting into words, its almost just a feeling you get from watching him. But something that I have really taken note on for me personally is that I grew up as the funny, outgoing, silly, ridiculous girl and as I have grown older I very well notice I have lost lots of that spunk, but mostly when out of the home, so I know I still have it. It's not like I just shut it off in public, but I never really even gave it a chance and it became a habit, and i didn't even realize when I actually changed. But since I revisited my childhood and was so strongly reminded of how I should be that girl again, no not because I want to be like Jerry Lewis, but because he taught me that it's better to have fun being who you really are and it shows it really got him somewhere, I mean look at it this way, if he would have started feeling stupid and obnoxious and just put off the whole comedy thing than would I even be writing about him now? It just makes you think a little.
I knew I had to write about this, because he, even without me realizing it, has molded me as a person, since I was a little girl and I am trying so hard to describe my feelings on the matter and I can feel it lacking comprehension and understanding. Maybe it's one of those things you see in someone through action? And maybe its just one of those things that leaves you speechless, to where people are just going to have to trust you when you say this has a life changing effect on me, however strange that may sound.
I also want to write real fast on how when he did all those films with Dean Martin, he was more of the slapstick comedy and Dean was more of the clever, witty heart-throb type. But to me, everything Jerry does makes you fall in love with him more and more.
I am truly grateful for the amazing inspirations I have that have come before me and taught me things I would have never learned on my own, about myself and who I want to be in this life. I knew that this one was definitely worth writing about, as they all are, I just had to get this out and share with you what I have been feeling a lot lately since it has been so long since I have written (I'm sorry, so much stuff has been going on, and I couldn't decide on which to write about to if I should just write about all of it) & its crazy this this overruled writing about little things going on in my life, but this is a major factor in my life. It is linked to my number one goal, my dream, what I will do, and also the kind of person I aspire to be while doing it.
Going unnoticed has never been my strong suit. -Jerry Lewis
I was raised as a little girl to the amazement of this man. The man and the way he acted, the way he didn't seem to care about how ridiculous he was, but it honestly was a good thing because to this day I have never laughed and enjoyed watching perform, or even, just be himself more than anyone I've ever witnessed. He does everything so effortlessly it seems, and puts being uncomfortable aside; actually I bet being uncomfortable for him is to what someone else would be their comfort zone.
The Nutty Professor is the first film I saw him in, either that or Rock a By Baby which is my favorite, (if I had to pick one) and I know I was really young when I did, and I had never seen anything like it. Some people would say that about some spectacle of a movie, and of course this movie wasn't that, but I am saying it in the sense that Jerry just took what he had and went with it. He created his characters on so many layers and stuck to it, and made it so convincing and still more than managed to give you all he had in a performance (which was a lot).
As an actress (well, one in progress, an aspiring one) I always have wanted to stick to dramatic acting and dramatic roles, which people think is interesting of me because I am that girl that always is being crazy and basically a "class clown" for lack of a better term. But it has been awhile I'll admit, that I have watched one of his films, even though I never forgot how he mad me feel the years I didn't watch his films, I watched one two nights back, and it was just an amazing feeling seeing pure true comedy, and a pure & true person doing it. Ahh I feel like I am doing a terrible job explaining this, which I hate because I wish I could express how seriously I am effected by this man (in a good way) and how everything he does makes me so happy there was someone in show business like him. He never gets old to me, he's the definition of a classic; he's timeless.
If I am ever asked "Who would you just be a total wreck meeting?" I wouldn't have to give it thought. Of course I have many, many other influences and inspirations but nothing like Jerry Lewis. What I find such a blessing and something I am thrilled about is knowing he is still in this world with us. Think of all the amazing people that have left this earth, but he is still here, and one of the few of Hollywoods golden out there. To sound a little silly, but to be honest, on the top of my bucket list it says 'Meet Jerry Lewis" and of course, if I don't meet him in this life it's okay, just knowing someone was here on Earth like him is all that matters.
He has inspired me more than just acting too, and most I have trouble putting into words, its almost just a feeling you get from watching him. But something that I have really taken note on for me personally is that I grew up as the funny, outgoing, silly, ridiculous girl and as I have grown older I very well notice I have lost lots of that spunk, but mostly when out of the home, so I know I still have it. It's not like I just shut it off in public, but I never really even gave it a chance and it became a habit, and i didn't even realize when I actually changed. But since I revisited my childhood and was so strongly reminded of how I should be that girl again, no not because I want to be like Jerry Lewis, but because he taught me that it's better to have fun being who you really are and it shows it really got him somewhere, I mean look at it this way, if he would have started feeling stupid and obnoxious and just put off the whole comedy thing than would I even be writing about him now? It just makes you think a little.
I knew I had to write about this, because he, even without me realizing it, has molded me as a person, since I was a little girl and I am trying so hard to describe my feelings on the matter and I can feel it lacking comprehension and understanding. Maybe it's one of those things you see in someone through action? And maybe its just one of those things that leaves you speechless, to where people are just going to have to trust you when you say this has a life changing effect on me, however strange that may sound.
I also want to write real fast on how when he did all those films with Dean Martin, he was more of the slapstick comedy and Dean was more of the clever, witty heart-throb type. But to me, everything Jerry does makes you fall in love with him more and more.
I am truly grateful for the amazing inspirations I have that have come before me and taught me things I would have never learned on my own, about myself and who I want to be in this life. I knew that this one was definitely worth writing about, as they all are, I just had to get this out and share with you what I have been feeling a lot lately since it has been so long since I have written (I'm sorry, so much stuff has been going on, and I couldn't decide on which to write about to if I should just write about all of it) & its crazy this this overruled writing about little things going on in my life, but this is a major factor in my life. It is linked to my number one goal, my dream, what I will do, and also the kind of person I aspire to be while doing it.
I shall pass through this world but once. Any good, therefore, that I can do or any kindness that I can show to any human being, let me do it now. Let me not defer nor neglect it, for I shall not pass this way again! -Jerry Lewis
Monday, April 4, 2011
my love for documentaries lately? :)
I seem to be really into documentaries lately, and they're usually related in theme, just like "Born to be Wild" right below, but I am just truly excited for the ones coming out that I really would like to see. When I first watched the trailer for this specific one "I Am" I was pretty blown away, just because of what they're talking about really makes sense, but it a way that you never thought of before. The way the world works with each other and on a level that we don't seem to recognize or communicate through.
Like they said in the trailer, they started out trying to figure out what was wrong with the world, and ended up finding out what was right about it.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Born To Be Wild, Born to make a difference!
You really cannot watch this without having a smile on your face. It seriously warms your heart, and I don't think it is just me that gets that effect from it :) The people that help out with problems such as this are such amazing examples of selfless people who dedicate their lives in helping others and keeping the world a better place for all mammals. Yeah I'm not one of those environmentalists or anything but that doesn't mean I don't care. These people are heroic and I think are wonderful examples to anyone. It doesn't mean you have to go out and do this exactly, but help out and give service anyway you can and its going make a difference no matter what.
the weekend culminating in one blog and one inspiration.
So this weekend was a little emotional and I have had a lot to think about, & I know thats really vague, but just bear with me for now. I usually get to focus on one thing at a time, but I have had so many things on my mind and choices I have to think about making. You see, I am supposed to be joining Air National Guard this year and also preparing to be a visiting student at UClA and doing my cities summer swim team and going to Italy, and going on Family vacations out east, and of course preparing for getting a place out in California for me and my mom to commute to for my acting (and doing that ASAP, the sooner the better) and the closest thing I have to look forward to is graduation in two months, which I am doing a year early for those that don't know that about me.
But what we're thinking is if I should put some of that on hold or maybe not do it at all, in order to focus on my main dream, my most important thing to me, which is getting out to Hollywood and act, audition, network, train, just really making all this happen for me. There are those things which I know I will do in this life no matter what, like travel all over, spend a lot of time in Italy, but when it comes down to it, I need to prioritize and its not surprise of course that is has been and always will be my acting dreams. I can always do the other stuff, and I am going to make it happen. See what I mean by though about having a lot to think about?? I am wondering if Guard would be to much a distraction or maybe look like that to directors, and my mom says I should go out to Hollywood first and see how it goes before doing anything like signing a six year contract with the Guard. Which makes perfect sense to me, its just really hard because I have my heart set on that, but I have to think, what is it my heart really is set on, and always has been and always will? Well I don't have to think twice about that.
Anyway that was a very long explanation of what has been going on in my brain in the past few days, and weeks, and months basically...This weekend, especially after today I just had a really good girls night out/and in with my good friends Brooke and Rika, (Whom I am so thankful for, right now especially.) and we all were on the same page about how there is so much world out there to experience and that we shouldn't let little things bother us and drama that won't matter in a year, let alone a month, or week even. There's so many people we have yet to meet, and share our life with. Were so contained here and we just hold to that promise that there's probably more than we could even imagine out in this world and in our individual lives that were beginning to truly create and live and enjoy out there; you really make your life what it is. I mentioned how it bugs me when people are all down and out and complain with words such as "Ah, I hate my life" or "Life sucks" I just want to take those people and shake em' or something and open there eyes to the possibilities we're given, even just this gift of life is more than we could ever ask for. It makes me truly sad to see people or hear of people who think that way, because for me, there is always more good than bad, you just choose weather to focus on the negative or positive. If you don't like something about yourself, change it. If you don't like the way your living, fix it. It's crazy to think, because its so easy I think we sometimes don't even realize that, and we take it for granted.
I just have to say, that I love life. I love the promise of tomorrow and of knowing I am at least trying for the things I want in this life. I love the mystery of the things I have yet to experience and places I have yet to go and marvel at.
I feel so blessed and I further love the fact that I know I will only grow more towards this idea, and that alone will help me have that extra push and drive to make the things I want to make happen happen.
I am so grateful for how far I have come in this life and that I am just barely seventeen (seriously turned seventeen Thursday) and that just shows to myself I will grow so much more and that I am really a baby in this world and I can make so much happen for me and this is the time to really start planning for that.
I thank my Heavenly Father for this beautiful world and the beautiful and inspiring people in it. My family is everything to me, my mother is the best support system I could ever have and I know I was put in this family for a reason. I know I seem to just be ranting now, but my mind seems to be going 100 miles a minute and I just have so much to say and no form of organization for it all. I just had to vent, not in an angry way but in a "I just love this world and I want to declare it" kind of way :)
Im just sitting here listening to the sound of the rain and wind pound against my warm cozy home, it sounds rough but its almost rhythmic in a way. I love this weather, especially on a relaxing night like this. Im not getting the idea in my head that I should probably go make some Hot Cocoa and cuddle up and watch a movie such as "Only You" or "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I have not yet seen, but it is on the to-do list of movies to watch :) write back soon, and don't worry it wont be a novel ;)
But what we're thinking is if I should put some of that on hold or maybe not do it at all, in order to focus on my main dream, my most important thing to me, which is getting out to Hollywood and act, audition, network, train, just really making all this happen for me. There are those things which I know I will do in this life no matter what, like travel all over, spend a lot of time in Italy, but when it comes down to it, I need to prioritize and its not surprise of course that is has been and always will be my acting dreams. I can always do the other stuff, and I am going to make it happen. See what I mean by though about having a lot to think about?? I am wondering if Guard would be to much a distraction or maybe look like that to directors, and my mom says I should go out to Hollywood first and see how it goes before doing anything like signing a six year contract with the Guard. Which makes perfect sense to me, its just really hard because I have my heart set on that, but I have to think, what is it my heart really is set on, and always has been and always will? Well I don't have to think twice about that.
Anyway that was a very long explanation of what has been going on in my brain in the past few days, and weeks, and months basically...This weekend, especially after today I just had a really good girls night out/and in with my good friends Brooke and Rika, (Whom I am so thankful for, right now especially.) and we all were on the same page about how there is so much world out there to experience and that we shouldn't let little things bother us and drama that won't matter in a year, let alone a month, or week even. There's so many people we have yet to meet, and share our life with. Were so contained here and we just hold to that promise that there's probably more than we could even imagine out in this world and in our individual lives that were beginning to truly create and live and enjoy out there; you really make your life what it is. I mentioned how it bugs me when people are all down and out and complain with words such as "Ah, I hate my life" or "Life sucks" I just want to take those people and shake em' or something and open there eyes to the possibilities we're given, even just this gift of life is more than we could ever ask for. It makes me truly sad to see people or hear of people who think that way, because for me, there is always more good than bad, you just choose weather to focus on the negative or positive. If you don't like something about yourself, change it. If you don't like the way your living, fix it. It's crazy to think, because its so easy I think we sometimes don't even realize that, and we take it for granted.
I just have to say, that I love life. I love the promise of tomorrow and of knowing I am at least trying for the things I want in this life. I love the mystery of the things I have yet to experience and places I have yet to go and marvel at.
I feel so blessed and I further love the fact that I know I will only grow more towards this idea, and that alone will help me have that extra push and drive to make the things I want to make happen happen.
I am so grateful for how far I have come in this life and that I am just barely seventeen (seriously turned seventeen Thursday) and that just shows to myself I will grow so much more and that I am really a baby in this world and I can make so much happen for me and this is the time to really start planning for that.
I thank my Heavenly Father for this beautiful world and the beautiful and inspiring people in it. My family is everything to me, my mother is the best support system I could ever have and I know I was put in this family for a reason. I know I seem to just be ranting now, but my mind seems to be going 100 miles a minute and I just have so much to say and no form of organization for it all. I just had to vent, not in an angry way but in a "I just love this world and I want to declare it" kind of way :)
Im just sitting here listening to the sound of the rain and wind pound against my warm cozy home, it sounds rough but its almost rhythmic in a way. I love this weather, especially on a relaxing night like this. Im not getting the idea in my head that I should probably go make some Hot Cocoa and cuddle up and watch a movie such as "Only You" or "Under the Tuscan Sun" which I have not yet seen, but it is on the to-do list of movies to watch :) write back soon, and don't worry it wont be a novel ;)
Friday, April 1, 2011
(previous post new to this blog) Liz Taylor, Guys & Dolls and Inspirtaions
I haven’t written for a few days because I have been so busy with hell week (if you dont know what that is, its another name for the opening week/tech week of a play/musical) I’m in my high schools musical, Guys and Dolls, and we have another show tonight, but thats not what I am on here to really talk about. Actually this blog entry doesnt really have a topic, but, that every night I am out on that stage, I am dedicating it to Elizabeth Taylor. When I found out Wednesday morning that one of my acting idols and inspirations had passed, it brought tears to my eyes. Even though you knew it’d be coming because she was getting older, I’ve just realized we’re almost to the point where we have lost a lot of the true and amazing hollywood kings and queens. My inspirations and the people I hope to be like one day, and to bring back that style of acting.
Woah, so much in only one day!
So my seventeenth birthday was yesterday, and it was fantastic. Just some highlights would be that I had a showing of the musical I'm in last night, I went to a lovely lunch to Carrabba's with my mom, and I found out that my friend Liana Liberatto has two new movies coming out, and I'm going to see one this weekend, called Trust. It looks so good, and me and my mom are going. Also, best part is I got my PASSPORT. :) I am so happy, now Im just one step closer to my travel dreams.
What made yesterday really interesting too, is that my mom opened up saying maybe I should head out to Hollywood sooner than just next year, that since I am graduating a year early, why shouldnt I? Because I plan on joining the Air National Guard? (For all you who have no idea what Im talking about, is there is one thing in life I want to do, and that is film acting. All I can remember I have ever wanted to do, besides my other dreams, this one is number one. I am dedicating my life to it.) So my mom thought, why don't we go out sooner and really make this happen, and start more networking, because I already do know some people, but why no really meet more people and get myself out there? Like I heard once, if you plan to be in L.A. be in L.A. Makes sense doesn't it?
Well, I could write more but I have to finish some schoolwork, and I have another showing tonight as well.
I'll write again soon, I also plan on transferring posts from my other blog that I don't plan on using anymore, because I am fully switching to Blogger :) So you'll hear more very soon!
What made yesterday really interesting too, is that my mom opened up saying maybe I should head out to Hollywood sooner than just next year, that since I am graduating a year early, why shouldnt I? Because I plan on joining the Air National Guard? (For all you who have no idea what Im talking about, is there is one thing in life I want to do, and that is film acting. All I can remember I have ever wanted to do, besides my other dreams, this one is number one. I am dedicating my life to it.) So my mom thought, why don't we go out sooner and really make this happen, and start more networking, because I already do know some people, but why no really meet more people and get myself out there? Like I heard once, if you plan to be in L.A. be in L.A. Makes sense doesn't it?
Well, I could write more but I have to finish some schoolwork, and I have another showing tonight as well.
I'll write again soon, I also plan on transferring posts from my other blog that I don't plan on using anymore, because I am fully switching to Blogger :) So you'll hear more very soon!
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